Checking out porn online is not much of a temptation. Really, I think it’s kind of gross. But that doesn’t mean I can’t have an internet addiction. I’ve been thinking I’m on the borderline here…
My wonderful husband helped me see this. It was a lightbulb moment for me. My addiction isn’t evil or morally degrading, but it is getting in the way in much the same way. I use it as my escape. My drug. I look at scrapbooking and shopping and all sorts of things. It’s fun. I love it. And I give it so much of my time, that I sometimes neglect things in my real life. My house, my children, even my hobby suffer because of my addiction. I need to set limits.
It’s kind of the same thing with food. Like food, it is good, fun, great… in moderation. But if I over do it, I feel like crap. I feel bad about myself. I get grumpy. I begin to think that things in the scrap/online world matter more than they really do. I lose sight of my REAL priorities. And just because other people are doing it, some even more than me, doesn’t make it ok. Just because someone else is fatter doesn’t mean I’m not fat, or someone elses’ shooting herion doesn’t make my dropping acid ok…
I know when I’m overdoing it. Even my husband can tell when I’ve wasted too much of my time. It’s a conscience thing. And when I feel bad, it shows. And when I’ve been good, it shows too. I just feel better. And my house looks better and the children are happier and we eat better meals. My addiction…probably something I need to work on daily, just like people in a 12-step program talk about…it’s always there. Always a temptation, but you just work on it one day at a time. So…today…if the bathroom doesn’t get cleaned, I’m not going to be here.
19 Comments
*great* question and *great* entry! I spend far too much time doing the exact same thing! My house shows for it…so do my kids…and so do I! It’s a sad thing…..what I have become. I want to know what others do…how do they limit their time? It stresses me out but I can’t stop it…it makes me grumpy but happy at the same time. Such a silly thing. Some days I wish the internet never existed, but then I never would have met the people I have met. Such a catch22 for me.
You rock Shannon!
ooo I am *so* trying to deal with this, too.. I even wanted to try to schedule my online time
didn’t work.. I just have to learn to cut back. Oh, and your porn comment made me laugh…at first, I thought it was true confessions about your porn addiction.. hee.
I have the same problem and just recently started to take more time off the computer and more time focused on the kids, the house, the family, etc. It does start to show and you are right…it is an addiction and sometimes not a very good one! Great entry, Shannon!
TOTALLY. I hear ya. I feel ya.
(lol, Renee, i thought she was coming out on porn addiction, too! NOT that she’s addicted to porn, people! :p)
Go clean that bathroom, Shannon. We’ll be here, waiting.
Ohhhhh I hear ya sister! It’s really bad when I’m learning something new (like this whole blog thing…slow learning curve on this one!), or I’m on some wild creative streak…dirty bathrooms, crusty noses, instant dinners…oh my! Take me away from my current obsession? I CAN get ugly ya know?!
Let’s get together for coffee one of these days! We can be each other’s 12-step program! LOL
Oh my…you are inside my head again Shannon! I SO hear you. The last few days I have been busy with work and have not had much message board time…I feel TONS better about a lot of things! I’m still checkin the blogs…(lets not get crazy here) but stepping away can be a good thing sometimes!! Great post!
Oh man you are so right Shannon!! Totally ture- i hate that feeling too- that nagging that hm I spent too much time doing nothing. I amworking on balance on this too.
I’m actually writing a response! In RS a few weeks ago we had a lesson about choosing better things over good things. We listed a bunch of good things in our lives (scrapping, reading good books, etc) that can sometimes take away from the more important things. Anyway, it’s hard to draw the line sometimes (I just spent the last two days reading “The Lovely Bones” and feeding my kids cold cereal for dinner!). Glad you had fun with Danita–can’t wait to see you guys again. Thanks so much for the recipe nods–that will be so helpful.
Shannon, you are so right! Internet it’s a dangerous “thing”, if we don’t put a limit! Your comment was very clever and opportune. I feel this “almost” addiction im my own life. One page goes to another… ten another and so one. I am now living in country, but I was born and raised in a big city, São Paulo, Brazil. Now I haven’t much distraction, so, I “surf”. Thank you for your sensitive, wise and courageous thoughts!! I love your blog!!
I am here again. I went to your archive and got some clever and important words, like I quote here: “March 20, 2005 - Viewfinder - I think life is kind of like photography. Sometimes, it’s important to zoom in and catch the small details. Point out the small nuggets of beauty…faces, blossoms, interesting details… so they don’t get lost to the “bigger picture”. Sometimes it’s important to step back and get the whole landscape shot, see the whole setting.” Totally right! Warm regards! Sonia.
Agree. Totally. I need to set limits for me. So important. Not so good at it though.
oh man, i can *totally* relate.. and it looks like we’re not the only ones! Lol! It really is an addiction… it’s pretty scary actually! never been addicted to anything in my life!… trying to find the balance.
OMG, you just pegged me to the nickel!
When I get engrossed in something…I’m stuck into that at that moment for sure. Today it was painting ….I let the laundry sit, the dishes sit, the clothes in the dryer are still there…blah blah blah. You get the jist. Nice to know I’m not alone. Tomorrow - we’ll set rules and time limits. I’m gonna borrow my DD’s timer.
I hear you Shannon and I know what you mean…it is SO easy to get sucked in and I am trying to keep my time limited too. You are not alone!
I’m right there with you. It definitely is an addiction! So glad spring is here, I find I am outdoors a lot more and it’s easier not to get sucked into it all.
i understand all too well.
your not alone lady! And lately I have tried hard to set limits… go on early in the morning, maybe a few minutes in afternoon and then after kids are in bed. Doesn’t always end up like that… like today… it is raining and i have a cold… so here I sit. But I need to go make some cookies with the kids. Those are always good on a rainy day.
oh and one more thing that I always think about is…will i regret missing out on things when the kids are all grown up, when i actually do have time to sit on here.. will i regret not having spent more time with them during this time in my life.
Boy, it was like you got in my head!