Sometimes I feel like I’m invisible. I’m the wizard behind the curtain that no one sees or is even sure exists. I’m my kids’ mom, my husband’s wife, my house’s keeper, my laundry’s washer, but sometimes….what else? I find that I’m in my house, only with my kids and my only contact with the outside world is second-hand…through Dave or the kids. My little jaunts to restock our cave have little meaningful contact, no interesting stories, no substance. I’m losing contact with my friends because I’m so busy with the tasks that are keeping me home. Supporting everyone elses worlds as they go out. I pretend that I have stuff going on, real people that I talk to as I sit in front of my computer screen. I DO feel like things are kind of real as I sit there…but in all likelihood, I won’t meet these people that are my "friends." I’m not ACTUALLY an almost-famous scrapbooker (ha!)…I just play one on the computer. In real life, people don’t know me like that. Or think I’m special in any way.
Then again…looking at it from another angle. I am an entire universe. A whole world revolves around me. I may send people out, but they always come back to me. I hold them up so they can be glorious, in turn making me as (or more) glorious as they are. If something happened to me, this universe would vanish and these people would be completely thrown out of orbit. I’m the most important, most influential person in the world. I’m needed. I’m loved. I’m ESSENTIAL. I’ve got talents that make me happy and proud. I’ve got a ton of support, even from relative strangers. I’m not invisible, I’m omniscient. Everywhere. Influencing silently but powerfully. I’m really cool.
Anyway…one of those. Depending on the day…
29 Comments
This sounded like an echo of myself
Makes me feel really sad at times. Most people I.R.L. don’t really understand when I say that the pc is my social life. Add to the fact that I live in a country where I feel like a fish out of water 99.9% of the time and the feeling is compounded. I miss home, my sisters, my friends. I miss nipping up the road for coffee and a chat 
Yes, we are the world that our families orbit around - whether we realise it everyday or not … but the loneliness can still eat away at our souls. Hope you have a fabulous day with many interactions. Hugs to you
I can *SO* relate! I have been feeling like that a lot…..it got easier before J because my girls were older and I was getting out but then we were blessed (totally) with this amazing new baby boy and life changed……started over almost. He is my sidekick….he is with me always….he has changed my life or brought it back a few notches…….and it’ll get back to what it was before….eventually.
You are a rock Shannon…..
I sometimes feel the same way - that I am losing “me” to everything else that I do around here. I like the perspective that you have in the second idea - that you are the centre of your family’s “universe”
It’s a positive spin on the way that a lot of us truly feel each day. I will probably never meet any of the people I chat with on the ‘puter either, but it’s good that I have them for now. It gives me a sense of “belonging to the adult world”. I would have gone insane by now otherwise 
I hear ya… but take us out of the picture and you’re right we’re basically the sun…
DID YOU EVER KNOW THAT You’re my HERO… {and I’ll do you the favor if not adding myself as a wav file here}.
Hilary
Wow…have you been hiding out in my head lately? ‘Cause I’ve been feeling that exact same thing. Invisible. Thanks for putting it into words.
i’m likin that other angle ~ thank you ~ i needed that as I sit here and launder and housekeep and entertain my 3yr old LOL
i LOVE this entry…you perfectly described the stay at home mom feelings…you totally need to scrapbook this journalling…so good…
GREAT entry, girl!
This is so beautifully written and very touching. I can really relate to this. Thank you.
Shannon - I like your take on the subject. We are appreciated, loved, valued, accepted, respected and sometimes invisible! But isn’t it amazing how they always find us!!
You have such a way with words - so well said.
Echoed my thoughts exactly–especially after 20 years in the corporate world, I feel invisible now–working on that. Food for thought and well said!
WOW.
WOW. WOW. WOW. WOW. WOW. WOW. WOW.
This is exactly how I’m feeling. How did you know?
..and I love the photo of you, too.
you crawled right into my head…and for the record…I consider you one of my “online friends”..:) miley
It’s been already said here but let me reiterate… WOW WOW WOW. You are sooo dead on it’s scary.
You deserve some chocolate for that entry!
Such a good post! Don’t we all feel that way from time to time?
wow girl! seriously….the first part of what you said is exactly how i’ve felt for the longest time…the second part is such an awesome way to look at the first part…poetry girl, just pure poetry!
I’d say option B. Motherhood is really the MOST important job out there. At the end of the day, you have made a difference. In the life of the 5 most important people in your life. And THAT makes you amazing. And on top of that, you are super sweet and are a fabulous scrapbooker too!!
Hey Shannon! I’ve always wished I could be a stay-at-home mom. Part of that would include having kids first in order to be a stay at home “MOM”, but that’ll happen someday.
I never really thought of any negative to being able to stay home, but I know that it isn’t an easy job…I guess it could get lonely sometimes. Take care!!
I’m with Moriah…you definitely deserve chocolate for that…maybe we should bring it to you!
Beautiful entry!
lisa
Thank you for these words.
Such great words Shannon girl! I could so relate with you. Your words hit a cord with many of us I am sure. We all feel like this most days. But I could never have put it into words like you. You need to take advantage of being home and start writing! Your incredible.
Depending on the day…I may steal that for my blog. Very interesting perspectives…I think they both hold merit and value.
J
So eloquently put, Shannon! Such an amazing read! PS - UR famous!
Well put. I bet everyone that really knows you -who also happen to be the ones that matter - think you’re the second paragraph, and would never guess that you might feel like the first somedays.
i hear ya.
hugs!
Beautiful entry Shannon. I feel exactly the same way, and I needed to hear that. Thank you.
Beautiful pic!! Do you feel better now that you vented?
You are the hub of your family’s wheel. Someday you will have all the time in the world for yourself and then I bet you’ll miss the choatic days!