How to be UNcool.

Well, any coolness I may have earned has quickly been negated by my recent antics of pushing a limosine-sized shopping cart (supposed to be shaped like a whale) all around Albertsons today. I don’t know how the littles talked me into it, but I instantly regretted it. And payed for it the entire hour I shopped. I knocked over a display (clean up on aisle ten!), broke part of the freezer case, found it impossible to make turns or steer in general, and felt like a complete goon. Not to mention the fact that because they were so low and near the sides of the cart in addition to my complete ineptitude at driving the damn thing they were able to grab whatever their hearts desired. Never again. I know they’re supposed to be fun, those stupid carts, but I have never believed in sacrificing my vanity for the kids to have fun. Whatever surfaced tonight that made me compromise that ideal…I’ve learned my lesson. It’s impossible to look even REMOTELY cool pushing a whale full of shoplifting babies around a crowded, otherwise kidless, Saturday night Albertsons.

16 Comments

  1. Mindy said . . .

    Shannon, you make me laugh. I’ve been there…was there… tonight at Macey’s. Steve’s working late, so I thought it would be fun to say “Hi” to Grandma Evie who’s a part-time checker. Even after taking all four to Wal-Mart last night (complete with the trek up to the disgusting potty from clear back in the diaper section), I was crazy enough to try again. Made the mistake of letting each kid pick a stupid plastic toy animal from the dollar bin. Trying to grab “just a few things” while the kids are busy dragging those snakes and lizards all over the shelves, knocking stuff over. Definitely not worth it. Even for big bottles of Propel on sale (only 69 cents!!). I guess I can be excited about the Propel now that I’m home and the kids are in bed.

    Posted September 17, 2005 at 10:25 pm | Permalink
  2. stephanie thiel said . . .

    Oh Shannon! I think we’ve all sacrificed ourselves at least once to that damn whale cart! I’ve totally nailed center displays and endcaps trying to maneuver that tank…My kids thought it was a hoot! Grabbing every arm-length package they could get, like the brass rings at the Santa Cruz merry-go-round. Never again!! I’d rather give them all roller skates and let them have a go down the aisles!

    Posted September 18, 2005 at 12:30 am | Permalink
  3. Linda said . . .

    Oh, you make me laugh!! =)
    Love it!!! (Your story…not the dang cart!)

    Posted September 18, 2005 at 4:19 am | Permalink
  4. Cari said . . .

    Shannon I laughed out loud when I read this! Haili still tries to get us let her get into one of those… They are huge monsters those shopping carts!
    Cari

    Posted September 18, 2005 at 5:41 am | Permalink
  5. desiree said . . .

    oh man, can i totally relate. *every* time we go in to dillons gavin must absolutely have one of those big shopping carts. i despise them. he loves them. guess who wins?

    Posted September 18, 2005 at 9:55 am | Permalink
  6. Hilary said . . .

    man, all we have are the car kind. Whales are over the top.
    Everyone learns their lessons. :) Poor you.

    Posted September 18, 2005 at 10:00 am | Permalink
  7. Jen Johner said . . .

    OMGoodness…seriously, this was me yesterday. Except I was pushing a Fire Truck…and I didn’t knock over a sign - THAT I did a few months ago! ;-) Thanks for the giggle!! You are soooooooo not alone!! Laughed at the shoplifting part…DD almost left with a brick of cheese, caught just as they were bagging the last of the groceries!

    Posted September 18, 2005 at 11:38 am | Permalink
  8. Julie said . . .

    Shannon, I did the same thing yesterday. I just wanted a few things, so I made the mistake of going to Price Cutter to avoid all the traffic of the SuperCenter in my town. I forgot that they have those carts too…only theirs are shaped like cars. I gave in and let Jenna ride in it. NEVER AGAIN! How in the world is a mother supposed to steer the thing? Ding dang it! And Jenna, too, kept pulling things off of the shelves and putting them into her “car”. It was miserable, and I felt completely UNCOOL.

    Posted September 18, 2005 at 11:57 am | Permalink
  9. Gillian said . . .

    Yes, but darling, if you’re wearing your solid colored pj pants, you’d look like a million bucks whilst pushing the whale cart laden with shoplifting children, and you wouldn’t be sacrificing anything. Just dress the part, and they won’t mind if you knock over every end cap or magazine rack in the joint.

    g

    Posted September 18, 2005 at 12:42 pm | Permalink
  10. kent said . . .

    Hee Hee! Can we get a copy of the security tape on that one - that would make for some great entertainment!!

    Posted September 18, 2005 at 3:56 pm | Permalink
  11. Jessi said . . .

    LOL!!!!!!

    Posted September 18, 2005 at 4:25 pm | Permalink
  12. kellicrowe said . . .

    ahhh, the whale shopping cart
    spewing little Jonah’s all over the market
    kellicrowe

    Posted September 18, 2005 at 10:58 pm | Permalink
  13. april said . . .

    whale of shoplifting babies! LOL

    Posted September 18, 2005 at 11:05 pm | Permalink
  14. renee said . . .

    LOL! Totally have been there! I now tell the kids that we can only get those carts if daddy is with us, because mommy isn’t strong enough to push them! I love the shoplifting babies part…you crack me up!

    Posted September 19, 2005 at 5:28 am | Permalink
  15. candi said . . .

    been there….you look even more ridiculous when there is ONE kid inside..lol. Who invented those things anyway??????

    Posted September 19, 2005 at 9:38 am | Permalink
  16. Amy said . . .

    oh hush…those carts are totally cool….
    *pfft*
    seriously…i HAAATE those things. i actually go into a different entrance at walmart now so that ally can’t see them and ask to ride on them. LOL

    Posted September 19, 2005 at 11:14 am | Permalink

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